A good general collection of essays on related issues is Linda A. M. Perry, Lynn H. Turner, and Helen M. Sterk (eds.), Constructing and Reconstructing Gender: The Links Among Communication, Language, and Gender, State University of New York Press, Albany, 1992.  Particularly relevant is Nancy Hoar’s piece, “Genderlect, Powerlect, and Politeness” (pp. 127-36). 

William Rawlins’ books have much of interest to say about the ways males and females communicate with their friends and romantic partners.

• William K. Rawlins, Friendship Matters: Communication, Dialectics, and the Life Course, Routledge, New York, 1992.
• William K. Rawlins, The Compass of Friendship: Narratives, Identities, and Dialogues, Sage, Thousand Oaks, CA, 2009. 

For a critical assessment of the male genderlect, see Peter F. Murphy, Studs, Tools, and the Family Jewels: Metaphors Men Live By, University of Wisconsin Press, Madison, 2001.

Other texts by Tannen

Deborah Tannen (ed.), Framing and Discourse, Oxford University Press, New York, 1993.

Deborah Tannen (ed.), Gender and Conversational Interaction, Oxford University Press, New York, 1993.

Her books on families include:

• Deborah Tannen, You Were Always Mom’s Favorite!: Sisters in Conversation Throughout Their Lives, Random House, New York, 2009.
• Deborah Tannen, You’re Wearing THAT?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation, Random House, New York, 2006.
• Deborah Tannen, I Only Say This Because I Love You: How The Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives, Random House, New York, 2001.

She addresses women’s friendships in You’re the Only One I Can Tell: Inside the Language of Women’s Friendships, Ballantine Books, New York, 2017.

Women and men’s workplace relationships are the subject of her book Talking From 9 to 5: Women and Men at Work, Avon Books, 1995.

You may wish to check out her work The Argument Culture: Stopping America’s War of Words, Ballantine Books, New York, 1999.  Although probably misnamed—Tannen is not really against argument when it is conducted rationally, fairly, and productively—it takes on the discourse of contentiousness that may be too prevalent in our society. 

Critiques of Tannen

An attack on Tannen’s genderlect theory in You Just Don’t Understand appears in Daena J. Goldsmith and Patricia A. Fulfs, “‘You Just Don’t Have the Evidence’: An Analysis of Claims and Evidence in Deborah Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand,” Annals of the International Communication Association, Vol. 22, 1999, pp. 1-49. 

Theoretical considerations

Kathryn Heath, Jill Flynn, and Mary Davis Holt, “Women, Find Your Voice,” Harvard Business Review, Vol. 92, 2014, pp. 118-121.

Anthony Mulac, James J. Bradac, and Pamela Gibbons, ”Empirical Support for the Gender-as-Culture Hypothesis: An Intercultural Analysis of Male/Female Language Differences,” Human Communication Research, Vol. 27, 2001, pp. 121-152.

Anthony Mulac, Howard Giles, James J. Bradac, and Nicholas A. Palomares, ”The Gender-Linked Language Effect: An Empirical Test of a General Process Model,” Language Sciences, Vol. 38, 2013, pp. 22-31.

Deborah Tannen, “The Medium Is the Metamessage: Conversational Style in New Media Interaction,” In Discourse 2.0: Language and New Media, Deborah Tannen and Anna Marie Trester (eds.), Georgetown University Press, Washington, DC, 2013, pp. 99-118.

Christopher J. Zahn, “The Bases for Differing Evaluations of Male and Female Speech: Evidence from Ratings of Transcribed Conversation,” Communication Monographs, Vol. 56, 1989, pp. 59-74.

Language differences

Patricia Easteal, Lorana Bartels, and Sally Bradford, “Language, Gender and ‘Reality’: Violence Against Women,” International Journal of Law, Crime and Justice, Vol. 40, 2012, pp. 324-337.

Albert N. Katz and Jonathan A. R. Woodbury, “Gender Differences in Being Thanked for Performing a Favor,” Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, Vol. 46, 2017, pp. 481-496.

Malka Muchnik and Anat Stavans, “Telling the Same Story to Your Child: Mothers' versus Fathers' Storytelling Interactions,” Women & Language, Vol. 32, 2009, pp. 60-69.

Dhiraj Murthy, Sawyer Bowman, Alexander J. Gross, and Marisa McGarry, “Do We Tweet Differently From Our Mobile Devices? A Study of Language Differences on Mobile and Web-Based Twitter Platforms,” Journal of Communication, Vol. 65, 2015, pp. 816-837.

Felicia Roberts and Alda Norris, “Gendered Expectations for ‘Agreeableness’ in Response to Requests and Opinions,” Communication Research Reports, Vol. 33, 2016, pp. 16-23.

Applied contexts

Nina Haferkamp, Sabrina C. Eimler, Anna-Margarita Papadakis, and Jana Vanessa Kruck, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus? Examining Gender Differences in Self-Presentation on Social Networking Sites,” Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking, Vol. 15, 2012, pp. 91-98.

Rose Helens-Hart, “Females’ (Non)Disclosure of Minority Sexual Identities in the Workplace From a Communication Privacy Management Perspective,” Communication Studies, Vol. 68, 2017, pp. 607-623.

Kent Kaiser, “Sports Reporters in the Twittersphere: Challenging and Breaking Down Traditional Conceptualizations of Genderlect,” Online Information Review, Vol. 40, 2016, pp. 761-784.

Roxana D. Maiorescu, “Crisis Management at General Motors and Toyota: An Analysis of Gender-Specific Communication and Media Coverage,” Public Relations Review, Vol. 42, 2016, pp. 556-563.

Carey Noland, “‘Macho Men Don't Communicate’: The Role of Communication in HIV Prevention,” Journal of Men's Studies, Vol. 16, 2008, pp. 18-31.

Philip Sullivan, “Communication Differences Between Male and Female Team Sport Athletes,” Communication Reports, Vol. 17, 2004, pp. 121-128.